It went from a weekend thing to a daily thing and eventually when my dealer left off some Cannabis he said: Here, this is for free, try it... And left a ziplock bag with Amphetamine. Of course i tried... And a new chapter began. I don't even remember the first time I used a needle.

I drank and drugged for over thirty years and for many of those I was very productive and held down a job so it didn’t occur to me that I could possibly be an alcoholic or addict because in my mind those people were homeless and that wasn't me. My motto was work hard, party hard. I deserved those drinks at the end of the day or week. The people I hung out with partied like I did so how could I possibly have a problem?

My experience as an addict was the same thing over and over like groundhogs day! I’d get up get high go to work get off stop at the liquor store and get drunk until I fell asleep every single day for 27 years. It was living hell to be honest. I finally realized my life was unmanageable after I wrecked my truck twice within 24 hrs, my wife kicked me out of our house and I had to sleep in my truck for 2 days in the cold weather drunk, hungry, tired and alone.

I was arrested several times and at the age of 16 I was sent to reform school. I spent 2 years there and didn't learn anything. When I was released I continued my using and my criminal behavior. At the age of 23 I was arrested for conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine,  Marijuana and cocaine. 

I was raised to be a people pleaser. My mother and I were best friends and were two peas in a codependent pod. My father was a functioning alcoholic and I was the apple of his eye. My house was the ‘fun’, ‘cool’ house and all of my friends loved to spend time with my parents.

I left home at 15. I had my ups and downs on the way to finding my husband and the comfortable life we live now. I found alcohol at an early age, like many and it helped me feel I fit in.

I was always a light-weight drinker and it was never really an issue, until it was, because, you know, who likes to puke, right? Raising a family, holding down a job, taking care of business and all was plenty to handle, and alcohol was not a part of the equation at that time.

My name is Lesley. I’m an alcoholic and drug addict and am addicted to anything that will take me out of my feeling. Food, sex, etc. List can go on and on. 

I would plan my weekends around alcohol. I wouldn’t arrange to meet up or doing anything on a Saturday or Sunday if I knew I would be hungover. Going on a night out would end in me being wasted and not knowing how I got home and the last night I did this was the moment I started to think that I relied on alcohol too much and looking back, I was becoming dependant more.

My addiction was a slippery slope. I was vehemently anti-alcohol growing up, because my parents were both addicted to it. At 19 I had my first drink and instantly felt shame, but I kept going. I was hooked on the mental escape. When my first son entered the NICU and spent 10 weeks there, my drinking increased.

Currently I am working in a leadership role in an in-patient psychiatric unit. I work with clients with severe and persistent mental illness and substance use issues.

I am from Chicago but grew up in Miami, now living in Austin and work as a Director/Film maker. My passion outside of film is skateboarding.

I live in Pune, India. Am widowed and am the proud father of 2 handsome boys (22 n 8 years old)

My crutch of choice was hard liquor. This started during an abusive relationship that I was in for 11 years. And every time I drank, it covered the pain I held. The bruises, the screaming, the pain of all of it disappeared when I drank.

I think I started to really notice I was drinking to much in my mid-twenties. When I first started on anti-depressants I noticed I would get more drunk and black out most nights. I would say and do things I would never dream of doing sober and the shame I felt almost daily overwhelmed me.

I became scared of myself and what my disease influenced me to believe. I missed who I was without drugs I just couldn’t handle feeling all the emotions I had. It hurt to hear my friends say they were scared when they saw me calling because they thought someone else would answer saying I’m gone.

Every day I was sure I was going to die but I didn’t. It’s shocking that I didn’t. I’m proud to say today that I am no longer using opioids and haven’t for two and a half years. I am still living with effects of withdrawal—which I have learned through my own research, it is actually called “post acute withdrawal syndrome”.

I have an amazing job again, an amazing wife, family and friends—my recovery is awesome, I speak to others at hospitals and institutions. I have a great sponsor and support. Most of all I’m working on why I became an addict, my trauma, my anxieties and fears. People forget, mental health is a huge part of recovery.

Drugs are cruel, confusing and controlling. They are isolating and manipulative and more often than not you don’t know you have a problem until you stop.

My life was pure chaos. Nothing was controllable or under my own will, the drugs were in control of everything in my life; my decision making, experiences and multiple failed relationships (mainly family).