I am grateful for healthy children, my own health, and all the love in my life.
Instagram: @sober_steph_mom_nurse
Recovery date: 12/21/2020
Drug of choice: Alcohol
What’s the main reason why you decided to get sober? The last year of my drinking career was spent circling the drain. My drinking had progressed to 24/7 drinking for the previous month. I knew I needed to stop for myself. And, my very close, second reason, was for my children. I knew I had to get sober for them.
Where are you from or grew up? I grew up in the northwest suburbs of Chicago where I enjoyed swim team and playing basketball as a child.
Describe your experience in addiction: My experience in addiction is a progressive illness that didn’t always look as bad as it was. I was a blackout drinker from the start. I would see pictures and think I can’t believe I look so normal and I don’t remember any of that. As time went on, the “bad performances” increased in frequency. The shame and guilt were increasing. Alcohol was no longer bringing me joy like it once did. Moderation failed repeatedly, and I tried all the rules, and I broke them all; don’t drink before five, drink a beer then a water, can’t drink until I exercised for the day, only drink beer, don’t drink wine, etc. It had become a necessity to function. And I looked at normal people with envy.
When did you realize your life had become unmanageable? I knew things were out of control in 2019 when I started drinking in the middle of the night put myself back to sleep. I knew sneaking and hiding alcohol was a bad idea. Then it progressed to drinking when I woke up until I eventually took a leave of absence from work to get help.
What did your recovery look like? The first six months of my recovery were rocky. Several factors contributed to this situation, including alcohol still being in my home and being surrounded by people who are drinking. After a terrible DUI car crash, I had a spiritual experience in jail. I knew when I left—things were going to be different this time. God was walking by my side.
How are you doing these days? Today, life is a beautiful journey. Sobriety and recovery have given me gifts I would’ve never dreamed of. The peace and serenity I feel most of the time is a gift from God. Not hearing the nagging voice in my head telling me to drink was a gift from God. Relief from the obsession with alcohol was a gift from God. Giving my children a sober mother is priceless.
What do you do to maintain your recovery?: I’m extremely active in my 12-step program. I do a Zoom meeting almost every morning. I try to make it to one to two in person meetings per week. I’m also extremely active in my sober active community, The Phoenix. The Phoenix has been the best addition to my 12-step program. I regularly volunteer and attend events. I maintain communication with my fellows and my sponsor.
What are you grateful for? I am grateful for everything in my life. First and foremost, I’m grateful for my sobriety. It must come first in order for everything else to fall into place. I’m grateful for a job that allows me to be a single mother and make the mortgage and pay the bills. I’m grateful for my families continued support, my fellows’ support, my sponsor’s support, my coworkers’ support, and I am beyond grateful to have a loving, gentle, and sober man in my life. Finally, I am grateful for healthy children, my own health, and all the love in my life.
Any goals or aspirations you'd like to share? To be the best sober mother that I can be. To be the best sober person I can be. To carry the message of sobriety and recovery to as many people as possible and to die sober.
Any advice you would give to newly sober folks? Don’t ever quit. Don’t ever give up. Keep coming back until it sticks. Don’t quit one second before your miracle happens. I do believe it will happen for you.